On-camera coaching eliminates mixed messages and gives you control of the image you project

By Cara Hale Alter

Michael’s brilliant grasp of the law wasn’t enough to win the confidence of his clients or the senior partners at his firm. He sensed that his job was at risk and asked for my help. On first analysis, I spotted familiar culprits – soft volume, short eye contact and closed body posture. As is often the case, Michael wasn’t aware of these unintended behaviors or that they were derailing his effectiveness. Equipped with a video camera and 15 years of experience, I coached Michael to align his non-verbal signals with his true abilities, helping him project a more accurate image that instilled confidence in others.

People make up their minds about us at lightning speed, without taking the time to analyze why they find us likable, authoritative, credible or insert-adjective-here. Their conclusions are based on observable cues – non-verbal signals such as the position of our chin, the width of our stance, the speed of our gestures, the crispness of our articulation, the duration of our eye contact, and so on. Together, these behaviors form a composite that influences people’s perceptions of us.

From the inside, we rarely notice the impact that our habitual mannerisms have on the image we project. But unintended behaviors – in Michael’s case, excessive blinking, head-tilting and a slightly audible “catch breath” mid-sentence – may block promotions, keep us relegated to back-room research, distance us from colleagues and senior partners, or prevent us from getting assigned to prominent cases. Careers stall. And we don’t understand why.

Let’s face it – we are all trying our best, so if we are being ineffective, it’s certainly unintentional. We choose our words with care. But can you say the same about your body language? If people are getting the wrong impression of you, it’s something you are doing. So, be intentional. Take control of your non-verbal signals. Choose your physical behaviors the way you choose your dress, hairstyle, car, neighborhood, friends and occupation. Intentionally.